The Gloob Of Thannook 1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 4, 8 & SEVEN

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Tonyblack

Super Moderator
City Watch
Jul 25, 2008
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#2
Oooh - I like that a lot! :laugh:

It flows very nicely and paints a lot of great images. The style reminds me of Edward Lear, but that's not a criticism as I always liked Lear's work.

Very good Pooh! :laugh:
 

MattK

Lance-Corporal
Jul 2, 2009
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blog.mattkeen.com
#4
Great poem, Pooh.
One thing I'm curious about though is this passage:

poohbcarrot said:
He lives in a castle
Surrounded by moat.
The only way in
Is by rowing his boat.
The castle is crumbly
With grounds quite extensive.
As you have guessed,
The upkeep's expensive.
Why doesn't he have a draw bridge? And if the moat is high enough that he can cross it by boat, wouldn't that mean that any potential attackers (like rabbits and whatnot to eat his vegetables) be able to do the same? That's just a poorly designed castle right there. :)
 

Dotsie

Sergeant-at-Arms
Jul 28, 2008
8,774
62
2,850
#5
That's true. My rabbits love going out in their boat. What a plot hole!

I really liked it. Not looking forward to the sad one though, but that's life :(
 

Batty

Sergeant
Feb 17, 2009
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#6
I like The Gloob
And his naughty dog Scrunch
Their tale made me smile -
So Thanks a whole bunch!

I can't wait for the others! ... Well, obviously I'm going to have to ... You know what I mean ...

 
Dec 31, 2008
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#7
MattK said:
Why doesn't he have a draw bridge? And if the moat is high enough that he can cross it by boat, wouldn't that mean that any potential attackers (like rabbits and whatnot to eat his vegetables) be able to do the same? That's just a poorly designed castle right there. :)
Because I thought it was funny without a drawbridge. :laugh:
 

Batty

Sergeant
Feb 17, 2009
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#8
MattK said:
Great poem, Pooh.
One thing I'm curious about though is this passage:

poohbcarrot said:
He lives in a castle
Surrounded by moat.
The only way in
Is by rowing his boat.
The castle is crumbly
With grounds quite extensive.
As you have guessed,
The upkeep's expensive.
Why doesn't he have a draw bridge? And if the moat is high enough that he can cross it by boat, wouldn't that mean that any potential attackers (like rabbits and whatnot to eat his vegetables) be able to do the same? That's just a poorly designed castle right there. :)
If the upkeep is expensive, then it is feasible that the Gloob could raise funds by holding rowing boat races for the villagers, or the 'fish a lucky plastic duck' competition like they have at fairgrounds.
The moat would therefore have to be accessible by boat.
The prized vegetables could always be protected by netting & other means.

The poem makes sense to me!
 

Jan Van Quirm

Sergeant-at-Arms
Nov 7, 2008
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www.janhawke.me.uk
#9
Hollywood pitch

"It's a bold sweeping landscape where Lear meets and admits to knowing Dodgson and the Grinch plays hide and seek around a moat whilst drowning Enid Blyton."

With a thousand elephants perhaps - later on? :laugh:

Keep at it smartypants. You know you got it in you ;)
 
Dec 31, 2008
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#10
Batty said:
If the upkeep is expensive, then it is feasible that the Gloob could raise funds by holding rowing boat races for the villagers, or the 'fish a lucky plastic duck' competition like they have at fairgrounds.
The moat would therefore have to be accessible by boat.
The prized vegetables could always be protected by netting & other means.
Sheesh! :rolleyes: I don't know! I only was injecting a bit of economic reality into the story. How does Noddy pay for the petrol for his car?

He doesn't need to raise any more cash, because he makes enough from selling his fruit and veg. :laugh:

So there!!

The next chapter is called "BOOKS".
 
#11
you mustn't feel pressured to make fiction make sense... otherwise twould be Non-Fiction and you would have to bring in the bean counters.

I like it and found it entertaining. Thank you Pooh... I still secretly want to spank you, but I am restraining meself, you still need (or perhaps just desire) a good swat... :slightly evil grin: ;)
 

Tonyblack

Super Moderator
City Watch
Jul 25, 2008
28,465
84
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Cardiff, Wales
#15
Excellent! :laugh:

Seriously good and some very inventive rhymes in there - well done.
 

Jan Van Quirm

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Nov 7, 2008
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#17
Practical hat on today...

poohb said:
He left the bistro
At a quarter from four,
But the lightning did flash
And the raid it did pour.
The library was near
So he scampered inside.
A place from the storm
And the thunder to hide.

Now reading was something
The Gloob never did.
He'd been turned against it
When only a kid.
But he picked up a book,
The first one in an age.
He parked his plump bum
And turned the first page.

The library was closing
At thirty past nine,
But the Gloob was still there
Reading line after line.
He couldn't believe it.
So entertaining!
He'd lost track of time
And forgot it was raining.
are we sure the Gloob wasn't raiding the Library? ;)

*puts red pen away* Excellent taste though that Gloob :laugh:
 

Tonyblack

Super Moderator
City Watch
Jul 25, 2008
28,465
84
3,325
Cardiff, Wales
#18
Looks like a blue pen to me. :laugh:

How come I missed that? I'm normally pretty good at spotting other people's spelling mistakes.


I'm crap at spotting my own though. :oops:
 

Dotsie

Sergeant-at-Arms
Jul 28, 2008
8,774
62
2,850
#19
Once again, very good. I thought the bistro bit was a bit wierd though, in a children's story? Good menu choices though 8)
 

Jan Van Quirm

Sergeant-at-Arms
Nov 7, 2008
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#20
Tonyblack said:
Looks like a blue pen to me. :laugh:

How come I missed that? I'm normally pretty good at spotting other people's spelling mistakes.


I'm crap at spotting my own though. :oops:
Everyone's crap at spotting their own Tony - it's the only reason why they need editors still - as spell-checkers are also crap and can't do grammar even if you've set it to the right default for English English ;)

Plus I used to proof-read for a govt dept so I have a truly non-admirable talent for being able to edit extremely long and boring docs without having to actually 'read' them properly (properly being following and appreciating the copy which is something I reserve for reading matter I give a damn about). 8x8 line poetry is therefore a doddle :p

I like blue - red reminds me of work :devil:
 

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