Disc world-ish fairy tail stories

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Which is better?

  • The Golem Who Cried Dwarf

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • The mushroom man

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    0

Robert-37

New Member
Aug 2, 2011
1
1,650
NE of England
#1
Hi for some random reason i made these and thought they where disc worldy, and who wouldn't want to read the Golem who cried dwarf, or the mushroom man...
anyway please tell me what you think, its not hard to tell what fairy tails they are based one
( and I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be posting here but is didn't know where to if there was a place)
thanks :)
enjoy ------------------------------------------------------------------------------


The Golem who cried Dwarf.
Once upon a time there was a young shepherd golem who looked after a herd of rocks, it was an important job to make sure the rocks grew to become fine boulders, the golem sat at the top of a grassy hill just outside of town doing nothing all day, the skies where blue and he gazed at the clouds. He thought to himself, it’s so borin around ere… then he had an idea. “ DWAAARFF DWARF” he boomed in his deep voice, all the hard working towns golems came running, fists formed in their gigantic rock palms ready to protect their herd. But the young golem lied and that quickly became apparent when he burst out laughing… the towns Golem told him off “only call dwarf, when theirs a dwarf!” They were furious at him.
The golem sulked, he was only having fun… the next day he resumed his shepherding, keeping an eye on the rocks to make sure they didn’t run off, but it happened again, it was just so boring he thought. So for the second time he cried “ DWARF!!” and the towns golem came running to fend off the attacker but there was none, the golems where furious at the little prankster and gave him a severe warning. “If you do this again and there’s no dwarf, you’ll spend the rest of the week in the cave!!” – Golems used rocks as homes and for everything, the cave was a jail in there rocky town – and so they stamped down the hill in a rage causing the ground to jump.
The next day the young golem was watching the playful rocks frolicked about in the field, when he spotted a disgusting little figure, it was a dwarf, the vicious monster devoured the helpless rocks and turned to the young golem, he was about 3 foot tall and was completely naked apart from the gigantic ginger beard wrapped around his body, he bared his brown dagger like fangs at the golem and he instinctively cried “DWARF!!! DWARF!!!”, but the golems didn’t come running, “we don’t believe you! “They replied.
The young golem panicked, and the dwarf ran towards it, he was too fast and the golem was eaten in seconds.
Moral of the story is that you should never tell the same lie twice.

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The mushroom man
A long time ago there was once a little old orc, who lived in a little old cave with his little old wife. They wanted kids but orc’s just grow from fungi under rocks so they couldn’t. So for the purpose of saving time let’s call the male orc a morc and the female orc a forc. The forc was baking a large mushroom that she found - which was actually quite cannibalistic since they are relatives – when she was thinking of how she would love a child to raise, she opened the oven door and the mushroom jumped out of the oven hopping on its large stem. It had 2 green dots for eyes and shouted “run run as fast as you can you can’t catch me I’m the mushroom man!”
He laughed at the two old orc’s who stood there in shock, as he bounced out of the cave and into the forest, the mushroom came across a nest of bees and similarly taunted them, shouting “buzz buzz as fast as you can you can’t catch me I’m the mushroom man!”, and the bees chased him their faces yellow with rage.
The mushroom got away from the bees, and once again resumed to hopping through the forest foliage, he next came across a forest dryad, a small wooden creature with a very wooden expression on its face, “run run as fast as you can you can’t catch me I’m the mushroom man!”
The Dryad just stared at him blankly and walked off, the mushroom still in a joyous mood hopped along till he encountered a stream, there he met a turtle and shouted “swim swim as fast as you can you can’t catch me I’m the mushroom man”, but it could because it turned out a soggy mushroom wasn’t very good at swimming and the turtle devoured it.
The moral of the story if you’re going to taunt something, don’t taunt bigger things than you.
 

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