My novel... help!

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MattK

Lance-Corporal
Jul 2, 2009
132
0
1,775
Lancaster, PA
blog.mattkeen.com
#1
I come to all of you fine folks to elicit some help--and possibly steal some cookies when you're not looking.

I've recently finished the third draft of my novel. Because I've been reading and re-reading it for so long, everything is blending together. Which has made it quite difficult to spot what parts need worked on. I need some fresh eyes--who aren't friends and family--to read over it and offer any critiques, criticisms, grammatical errors, or anything else that comes to mind.

If anyone is interested in helping me out the prologue and the first few chapters of the book are posted to my, still incredibly under construction, blog here. If, after reading that, anyone would like to read on, let me know and I can email you the entire manuscript.
 
Dec 15, 2008
659
0
1,925
Norway
#2
Come join in this exploration of values and humanity, backdropped by some of the most beautiful places in the worldand Sweden.
:laugh:

I'm sorry, being Norwegian I just couldn't help myself ;)
 

MattK

Lance-Corporal
Jul 2, 2009
132
0
1,775
Lancaster, PA
blog.mattkeen.com
#4
Thanks Tony.

WannabeAngua said:
Come join in this exploration of values and humanity, backdropped by some of the most beautiful places in the worldand Sweden.
:laugh:

I'm sorry, being Norwegian I just couldn't help myself ;)
Yeah, I could have picked on any country, but Sweden just seemed funnier somehow. :)
 
Dec 31, 2008
1,289
0
2,100
Japan
#7
Has anyone read Matt's stories?

I took one look at the site and thought, "Oh dear! It's a bunch of Christo-faith-fanatics.

It's not!

The Adam and Eve story was brilliant. I loved it! :laugh:
 

MattK

Lance-Corporal
Jul 2, 2009
132
0
1,775
Lancaster, PA
blog.mattkeen.com
#8
Yeah, I could see that being an apt first impression. I haven't been anything close to religious since I was a teenager. But 12 years of Catholic school filled me with a wealth of biblical satires just screaming to get out. :)

I just started that site and it's still very much under construction, but I'm glad you like the story. Did you read Creation too? :)
 
Dec 31, 2008
1,289
0
2,100
Japan
#9
Not yet, but I will. Just been watching L'Arse tonk Portsmouth 4-1.

Can't you write the whole Bible like that?
 

MattK

Lance-Corporal
Jul 2, 2009
132
0
1,775
Lancaster, PA
blog.mattkeen.com
#10
I was thinking about doing some more stories from the Bible, yeah. I did those 2 while I was living in Colorado and bored with classes. This was when I was writing 3-4 papers a week. So, naturally, I came home and wrote. ;P
 
Dec 31, 2008
1,289
0
2,100
Japan
#11
Hi Matt

I read your intro and first chapters.

On page 17 you use the "hand gestures" joke for the second time, and on page 21 you use the "pedestrian tag" joke for the second time. Can't you rephrase them differently, without losing the humourous meaning? It feels like either you are assuming the reader is stupid with the attention span of a forgetful goldfish, or your narrative is lacking in imagination. 8)

And I was a bit disappointed that you flew thousands of miles to get away from the "plugged-in" generation, but took your phone with you. :rolleyes:

Anyway, I enjoyed it so far and want to know what happens to this poor little naive American, full of noble ideals, in the mysterious continent that is Europe.

How many pages are there altogether?

"The first big trip you do for your friends and family, you want to impress them with tales about all the wonderful things you've experienced. However, unless they've experienced something similar, they simply won't comprehend. For a few days they will tolerate your stories, but will soon be bored.
The second big trip you do for yourself" - Poohbcarrot.
 

MattK

Lance-Corporal
Jul 2, 2009
132
0
1,775
Lancaster, PA
blog.mattkeen.com
#12
Thanks for reading it pooh. I think I used the hand gestures joke 3 times. I tried to make it a bit of a running gag, it shows up once or twice more throughout the book. The pedestrian tag joke is just an oversight, I'll revisit that.

It wasn't so much getting away from technology, as using it in an appropriate way (at least as I saw it), and getting rid of unnecessary distractions. In the month I was over there the phone was only on when I was expecting a call, or when I had to make one. I never once checked my email or browsed the web. Like a lot of things, this type of technology (phones, MP3 players, the internet) is great when used in moderation and for a purpose. It was using it excessively, or as a means to alleviate boredom that I wanted to avoid.

As far as pages, I'm not sure in the format that I posted. I have one or two more edits to do before I print it, so I just did those pages as layouts for later. But, in Word and double-spaced, it was 130 pages. So I would guess somewhere in the 200-page range.

I love that quote at the bottom too, but who do you think you are, Mark Twain, Benjamin Franklin? You can't go around quoting yourself, that's bad form. :)

Edit: By the way, I started writing some more Bible stories for you last night. ;)
 
Dec 31, 2008
1,289
0
2,100
Japan
#13
MattK said:
I love that quote at the bottom too, but who do you think you are, Mark Twain, Benjamin Franklin? You can't go around quoting yourself, that's bad form. :)
But nobody else quotes me! :cry:
 

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