If Discworld was edited "for Americans"

[Beyond Birthday]

What would happen if the Discworld novels were edited "for Americans"? What I mean by this is what would happen if, say, Scholastic (the same people who changed Philosopher's Stone to Sorceror's Stone) got a hold of the books and changed almost everything to be a "better fit for Americans".

As a bonus to anime fans "What would happen if 4Kids got a hold of Discworld and edited it as much/as badly as One Piece"?

 

[Tonyblack]

Are you an American, BB?

I'm a Brit married to an American and apart from a few cultural differences and references to British TV shows (for example), my wife has never had any real problem with the books.

One thing that we did notice once was that (I can't remember which book it was now) in the British copy of one of the books, a character told a joke and said "boom-boom" after it. In the American copy he said "badda-boom" after it.

 

[raisindot]

PLEASE! It's bad enough what U.S. publishers did to the jackets.

DON'T give them any ideas on that might get them thinking about what to do to the text to make it more "marketable" to yanks.

Trust me. If you're not an afficianado of British humor, you're not going to get into DW, no matter how they try to dumb down the text.

J-I-B

 

[poohcarrot]

Hi BB

A very good question.

1. All the "U"s would go - color, favorite.

2. All the vegetables would change names - zuccini, egg plant.

3. Death would be removed.

4. Everyone would carry a gonne, and the Watch would carry Shooting-electricity-out-to-stun-naughty-people devices.

5. The ball in UA would become oval, and the wizards' team would claim to be Discworld champions even though nobody else played the sport.

6. The original three witches would be Granny, Nanny and Christine O'Donnell.

7. Vorbis would change sex and be called Sarah P.

8. All the jobs in A-M would be outsourced to the Agatean Empire.

9. "The truth shall make ye fret" would become "Fair and balanced".

10. Lord Rust would be Patrician for 8 years and as well as invading Klatch, he'd invade Uberwald to get his hands on all the fat. He'd later write a book full of lies in which he blamed everybody else but himself for the mess, but nobody would buy it.

 

[Beyond Birthday]

I don't have a problem with the American books, either. I was just curious about what people would come up with. Like asking who would win in a fight, Batman or Superman?

I am American, by the way.

 

[Beautiful Dirt]

Oh Pooh you do make me smile. Although I have to say that World Series thing grates on me a bit. I like a few American sports but I think that competition name is a bit . . . ambitious.

 

[poohcarrot]

I think the DW book titles should be changed to appeal more to the US market.

For starters, get rid of the "U"s;
The Color of Magic
Sorcery
The Trth
Thd

Then change the titles to make them more reflect US vocabulary;
The Fifth Buffalo
The Light Awesome-Dude
Cops! Cops!
Cops at Arms
Night Cops
Interesting Washington Post
A Stetson full of Sky
I'm gonna wear midnight, y'all
Hip Hop Music
Movies
Felon of Time
Where's my Steer?
Bud (Eric)

Other titles should be changed so as not to inflame the Tea Party and make them easier for T-Baggers to understand;
Big God
Equal Rites - but not for gays
Vampires
A whole bunch of four triangles stuck together in the sand

And last but not least;
The Amazing Tea Party and its Uneducated Supporters

 

[blake9]

I've never seen anything improved by being Americanised.

They should leave the books alone.

 

[poohcarrot]

I've never seen anything improved by being Americanised.

They should leave the books alone.

So DW books should never be translated into different languages?

Do you use the internet? Or drive cars? Or go to the cinema?
Maybe Americans should leave us alone and not share their inventions with us.

 

[Dotsie]

I've never seen anything improved by being Americanised.

They should leave the books alone.

So DW books should never be translated into different languages?

You know full well that is not what was meant. Americans speak the same language as us (perhaps not the same as you).

 

[pip]

I've never seen anything improved by being Americanised.

They should leave the books alone.

So DW books should never be translated into different languages?

Do you use the internet? Or drive cars? Or go to the cinema?
Maybe Americans should leave us alone and not share their inventions with us.

All hail americana.

 

[pip]

The renaming thing is not confined just to the states.
I was at a talk with Neil Gaiman last year and he was ranting about the renaming of the film version of Coraline for various markets.
They renamed it 'Coraline Through the Secret Doorway' while the Japanese renamed it 'Coraline and the Button Witch' as it was felt the title had to tell the audience what it was going to see. Especially the Aussies seemingly. Not my opinion before Deldaisy and co come to beat me up

 

[poohcarrot]

I've never seen anything improved by being Americanised.

They should leave the books alone.

So DW books should never be translated into different languages?

You know full well that is not what was meant. Americans speak the same language as us (perhaps not the same as you).

Eh?
I was, for once in my life, sticking up for the US.(believe it or not)
I never implied that Americans speak a different language.
If the Americans should leave the books alone, then should all other nationalities leave the books alone too? (is the point I was making.)
That's worth at least one rolly-eyes.

 

[pip]

I've never seen anything improved by being Americanised.

They should leave the books alone.

So DW books should never be translated into different languages?

You know full well that is not what was meant. Americans speak the same language as us (perhaps not the same as you).

Eh?
I was, for once in my life, sticking up for the US.(believe it or not)
I never implied that Americans speak a different language.
If the Americans should leave the books alone, then should all other nationalities leave the books alone too? (is the point I was making.)
That's worth at least one rolly-eyes.

I almost nearly kinda felt sorry for you here Pooh

 

[Dotsie]

Eh?
I was, for once in my life, sticking up for the US.(believe it or not)
I never implied that Americans speak a different language.
If the Americans should leave the books alone, then should all other nationalities leave the books alone too? (is the point I was making.)
That's worth at least one rolly-eyes.

It wasn't what you were saying about Americans. It's your attitude to a new member of the forum - and you don't know where blake9 comes from, so you shouldn't have been confrontational. Roll your eyes all you want.

 

[pip]

Eh?
I was, for once in my life, sticking up for the US.(believe it or not)
I never implied that Americans speak a different language.
If the Americans should leave the books alone, then should all other nationalities leave the books alone too? (is the point I was making.)
That's worth at least one rolly-eyes.

It wasn't what you were saying about Americans. It's your attitude to a new member of the forum - and you don't know where blake9 comes from, so you shouldn't have been confrontational. Roll your eyes all you want.

He picks on me too

 

[raisindot]

6. The original three witches would be Granny, Nanny and Christine O'Donnell.

This is the best one! ROFL!



J-I-B

 

[raisindot]

I've never seen anything improved by being Americanised.

Umm, except America itself.

Oh, and the frequency of military victories in world wars.

And the whole idea of a republic based on a written constitution with mostly clearly delineated powers, separation of church and state, and written guarantees of freedom of speech, assembly, religious practice, trial by jury, habeaus corpus, gun ownership (boo), and the elimination of the right of aristocracy, and equal rights for all citizens (except for slaves until the Civil war and for black people until the mid 1960s).

But other than that, you're probably right.



I do totally agree with you about the books, though. Leave the text as it is!

J-I-B

 

[Bouncy Castle]

They don't change books in the other direction, though.

I've read many a book set in America, and have yet to find out what a stoop is.

 

[poohcarrot]

I've never seen anything improved by being Americanised.

They should leave the books alone.

So DW books should never be translated into different languages?

You know full well that is not what was meant. Americans speak the same language as us (perhaps not the same as you).

Eh?
I was, for once in my life, sticking up for the US.(believe it or not)
I never implied that Americans speak a different language.
If the Americans should leave the books alone, then should all other nationalities leave the books alone too? (is the point I was making.)
That's worth at least one rolly-eyes.

I almost nearly kinda felt sorry for you here Pooh

Cheers pip.