Neither. I never became either a Trekkie or a Star Wars fanatic. When I noticed, about 10 years ago, that people were fighting online over who was better - Captain Kirk or Captain Picard- I wrote the following. Hope you enjoy.
'Cyberspace... the final frontier. These are the voyages of two intrepid space captains as they journey through cyberspace in their starship, the Win-A-Prize, to find... is Captain Perk really better than Captain DiLard? And does anyone even care any more? In...
Star Drek: The Next Desperation!
Captain Perk: Come journey with me, space devotees! We shall scour the galaxies to find alien civilisations to wreck and battle Flingons! I shall inevitably find some alien women to be intimate with, get my shirt torn and fight some alien guys, wreck their civilisation, and beam back on board the starship in time to make a stupid joke and see Captain Sprock raise his eyebrow - all in glorious Technicolor!
Captain DiLard: No, come journey with me, ensigns! We shall be make it so as we drink Earl Grey tea, battle on-board ship troubles, and - amazingly - we will secure the jail cells of the future with force fields rather than solid physical doors, so that every power failure results in a jailbreak!
Captain Perk: Alien women!
Captain DiLard: Earl Grey tea!
Captain Perk: Alien women!!
Captain DiLard: Earl Grey tea!!
Captain Perk: Alien women!!!
Captain DiLard: Earl Grey tea!!!
Will the argument ever be settled? Will Captain Perk and Captain DiLard ever make up? And will anyone still be interested? Tune in next week to find out on...
Star Drek: The Next Desperation!'