Thief of Time question (not for the squeamish)

[raisindot]

As I'm listening to the audiobook version of TOT (FINALLY out on Audible.com, and blessed with Mr. Briggs as its reader), a question came to mind that never occurred when I was reading the book.

I know, I know, I should have posted it to the TOT discussion group, but we're discussing Pyramids now so I wouldn't want to interrupt the discussion flow. Besides, this is more of an opinion oriented than anything else. And if it's been discussed, sorry.

Anyway, during one of the meetings of the Auditors, Lady Lejune (sp.) marvels at the complexity of the female human body, which, she perceives, has eight orifices, of which one serves no apparent purpose.

Now, does one's interpretation of what that particular orifice may be signify what kind of person they are of the vulgarity of their thought processes? I hope not, because what complicates the matter is that LL understands the function of each orifice through personal experience--with one obvious exception. There seem to be only two possible choices here. Would it be much safer to guess that she is referring to the belly button?



J-I-B

 

[Tonyblack]

Safer to stick with the belly button I think.

But yes, you're probably right - the Auditors did go for accuracy and so she will have ended up (presumably) with a fully functioning female body with a bit that she'd never used and therefore may not have understood the purpose of.

Phew!

 

[theoldlibrarian]

but am I right that she did not eat for a long time until trying bread and so therefore for want of more poetic language would have had no use for the organs of excretion? probably not, but who knows?

 

[Dotsie]

Don't be shy. She's talking about her twinkle

Sorry for the use of such language

 

[Tonyblack]

Definitions of twinkle on the Web:

flash: gleam or glow intermittently; "The lights were flashing"
a rapid change in brightness; a brief spark or flash
emit or reflect light in a flickering manner; "Does a constellation twinkle more brightly than a single star?"
sparkle: merriment expressed by a brightness or gleam or animation of countenance; "he had a sparkle in his eye"; "there's a perpetual twinkle in his eyes"

 

[raisindot]

Don't be shy. She's talking about her twinkle

Sorry for the use of such language

Not sure I know what a twinkle is.

Since LL had already eaten, and, therefore, must have already excreted, I assumed that she was referring either to her belly button or her vagina.

[Sorry--couldn't resist, but any Yanks who watch mainstream American sitcoms and dramas these days will know that the use of v-word has become a common shock joke]



Still blushing, tho'.

J-I-B.

 

[poohcarrot]

Hang about. I count 9 orifices.

2 eyes
2 nostrils
2 ears
1 mouth
1 twinkle
1 bum.

I hardly think a belly button counts, does it?

 

[Dotsie]

I don't think eyes count. The tear ducts aren't really much bigger than pores. And you forgot the wee hole

 

[poohcarrot]

If LL never ate anything, she never went to the toilet, so shouldn't she have said 3 orifices?

 

[raisindot]

If LL never ate anything, she never went to the toilet, so shouldn't she have said 3 orifices?

I think she had eaten something by that time, and therefore probably had used the execreting orifices, since she was an experimenter and the full biological purpose of 7 of the 8 could be ascertained without assistance.

I don't count the eyes, either, so it would be (returning to quaint euphemismland)

2 ears
2 nostrils
1 mouth
1 weehole
1 bum
1 twinkle

Even substituting the eyes out, Pooh is right that adding the he belly button would make 9, not 8.

Since the Auditors couldn't understand how humans were so easily able to reproduce themselves, this implies that they didn't understand the concept and mechanics of shagging.

Thefore, unless Discworldian humans have another orifice that Earth humans don't, we must, by deductive logic, assume she was referring to the twinkle!

(If I ever got to speak with the man again, this is the question I'd ask him, if only to elicit either a laugh or a condescending glare)

:twisted:

J-I-B

 

[chris.ph]

perhaps they didnt have belly buttons as they werent born just created :idea:

 

[Bouncy Castle]

Best thread of the year so far!!!

 

[Tina a.k.a.SusanSto.Helit]

Dotsie!! What the Devil is a Twinkle???????????

 

[Bouncy Castle]

I think it may be related to the bladder?

After that, I'm lost........

 

[Batty]

Dotsie!! What the Devil is a Twinkle???????????

 

[bikkit]

is a twinkle what I think it is?

 

[Tonyblack]

I don't know. What do you think it is?

 

[poohcarrot]

She had a twinkle in her eyes

So why aren't eyes counted as orifices?

 

[chris.ph]

because there full of eyeball pooh and eyes arent orifices anyway eye sockets might be tho

how do you classify an orifice is it something on your body that is big enough to fit a cotton bud in or a finger

 

[Dotsie]

Let's say cotton bud. That covers the wee hole and leaves out the tear ducts.

For all those who can't figure out what a twinkle is... it's specific to ladies! If you still aren't sure, you can PM me