Things you laughed yourself sick over
- Thread starter OrangeEyebrows
- Start date
A footnote from ERIC - "The gods of the Disc have never bothered much about judging the souls of the dead, and so people only go to hell if that's where they believe, in their deepest heart, that they deserve to go. Which they won't do if they don't know about it. This explains why it is so important to shoot missionaries on sight."
Unfortunately, I have M.E and a host of other problems which clouds my memories - so I can't remember which bits made me laugh, but I can tell you that I really pee my girlfriend off when I lay next to her giggling and scoffing, lol.
The good thing about being ill is that when I reach the end of the discworld series, I can reread them all again and they will seem like new novels. Mwahahaha.
The good thing about being ill is that when I reach the end of the discworld series, I can reread them all again and they will seem like new novels. Mwahahaha.
Sorry to resurrect this, I'm currently listening to Nigel Planer read "Jingo" ... which is making me smile, and laugh, and so on. Some choice bits:
- Nobby's "I don't think they will fit you, sir." (the exotic harem pants -Ed.)
He regretted those words immediately.
"I did not intend for them to fit me," said Vetinari calmly. "Please pass me your fez, Corporal Beti."
- Sergeant Colon not minding having a quiet smoke against a sunny wall ... after being caught as a spy
- Nobby being told that if he's caught as a spy, the Klatchians will give him to the women. And he doesn't mind
- Nobby getting a very auspicious ten-penny version of his future from Mrs Cake. So, she sneaks in ten dollars to find out what happens ... and laughs about it all afternoon
- Vimes's dry humour. "Everyone knows meat is at its best when it's going green."
- Vimes's bacon shattering very satisfactorily. And a little bit later ... "I'm just going out to kick some arse, dear." / "Oh, good. Just remember to wrap up warm, dear."
- Oh, gods. The hieroglyphs / loweroglyphs pune, and Colon's explanation. (It's simple, but it made me laugh).
- "My goodness me, a walking potato."
- Carrot and Angua interview Stoolie the gnoll about the attempted assassination. Stoolie has grass growing on him. So he's a Grassy Gnoll. (Pune FTW!) Also, "grass" and "stoolie" ("stool-pigeon") are both police slang for "informant".
- "Can you think of any reason why I should be carrying an inflatable donkey?"
"Well, you ---"
"One that you wouldn't mind giving to your dear mother?"
- Nobby figuring out that he can use his "feminine wiles" on the Klatchian quartermaster to get free food. Cue everyone being horrified, Angua most of all. Luckily, that's not what he meant. (Ye Olde Bait-and-Switch).
- Vimes logically exposing Jenkins's lies about carrying "precious silks" until he was robbed by Klatchians. And even after that, Sgt Detritus comically misses the point, and points out there are no trolls in Klatch because of the heat. Vimes tersely tells him: "Never go to Klatch." (Later, of course, Detritus has to).
- At the meeting before the Klatchians arrive, the head of the armourers' guild boasts about how many weapons he's been making ... and then Vetinari drags out of him how many of those weapons were sold to Klatch.
- At the same meeting, Vetinari points out how much tax evasion is going on. Everyone is suitably shocked about this ... until Vetinari suggests sending the Watch to collect from the "prime defaulters" (with permission to use force if they resist). *G* Oh, too late now! Water under the bridge!
There are too many others, but I can't recall them all. What are some of yours?
- Nobby's "I don't think they will fit you, sir." (the exotic harem pants -Ed.)
He regretted those words immediately.
"I did not intend for them to fit me," said Vetinari calmly. "Please pass me your fez, Corporal Beti."
- Sergeant Colon not minding having a quiet smoke against a sunny wall ... after being caught as a spy
- Nobby being told that if he's caught as a spy, the Klatchians will give him to the women. And he doesn't mind
- Nobby getting a very auspicious ten-penny version of his future from Mrs Cake. So, she sneaks in ten dollars to find out what happens ... and laughs about it all afternoon
- Vimes's dry humour. "Everyone knows meat is at its best when it's going green."
- Vimes's bacon shattering very satisfactorily. And a little bit later ... "I'm just going out to kick some arse, dear." / "Oh, good. Just remember to wrap up warm, dear."
- Oh, gods. The hieroglyphs / loweroglyphs pune, and Colon's explanation. (It's simple, but it made me laugh).
- "My goodness me, a walking potato."
- Carrot and Angua interview Stoolie the gnoll about the attempted assassination. Stoolie has grass growing on him. So he's a Grassy Gnoll. (Pune FTW!)
Also, "grass" and "stoolie" ("stool-pigeon") are both police slang for "informant".- "Can you think of any reason why I should be carrying an inflatable donkey?"
"Well, you ---"
"One that you wouldn't mind giving to your dear mother?"
- Nobby figuring out that he can use his "feminine wiles" on the Klatchian quartermaster to get free food. Cue everyone being horrified, Angua most of all. Luckily, that's not what he meant. (Ye Olde Bait-and-Switch).
- Vimes logically exposing Jenkins's lies about carrying "precious silks" until he was robbed by Klatchians. And even after that, Sgt Detritus comically misses the point, and points out there are no trolls in Klatch because of the heat. Vimes tersely tells him: "Never go to Klatch." (Later, of course, Detritus has to).
- At the meeting before the Klatchians arrive, the head of the armourers' guild boasts about how many weapons he's been making ... and then Vetinari drags out of him how many of those weapons were sold to Klatch.
- At the same meeting, Vetinari points out how much tax evasion is going on. Everyone is suitably shocked about this ... until Vetinari suggests sending the Watch to collect from the "prime defaulters" (with permission to use force if they resist). *G* Oh, too late now! Water under the bridge!
There are too many others, but I can't recall them all. What are some of yours?
Likes:
Tonyblack
My favorite laugh out line from Jingo is Vetinari's directive to Colon before the juggling scene.
Vetinari: "Sergeant, our very lives depending on you acting like a big, fat stupid idiot."
Colon: "I'm not very good at acting, sir."
I also love the little snub Prince Cadram (or is a Klatchian general?) says to Rust when the Klatchian brings out a small telescope to view the battlefield.
Rust: "Oh, you have one of those. We just start making those in Ankh Morpork a few months ago."
Klatchian: "I wouldn't know. This was a gift from my grandfather."
Vetinari: "Sergeant, our very lives depending on you acting like a big, fat stupid idiot."
Colon: "I'm not very good at acting, sir."
I also love the little snub Prince Cadram (or is a Klatchian general?) says to Rust when the Klatchian brings out a small telescope to view the battlefield.
Rust: "Oh, you have one of those. We just start making those in Ankh Morpork a few months ago."
Klatchian: "I wouldn't know. This was a gift from my grandfather."
I agree, raisin -- and Vetinari's reply to "I'm not very good at acting", ie: "Good!"
I think it might be General Aschal who brings out the telescope, but I can't recall.
Despite being a villain, Prince Cadram also has some good lines at Lord Rust's expense (such as theatrically licking a scimitar and declaring that no, the taste of cold steel doesn't make him afraid. "Is this as cold as steel gets?")
I think it might be General Aschal who brings out the telescope, but I can't recall.
Despite being a villain, Prince Cadram also has some good lines at Lord Rust's expense (such as theatrically licking a scimitar and declaring that no, the taste of cold steel doesn't make him afraid. "Is this as cold as steel gets?")
